Estate planning is a subject ignored by many people (neglectfully or deliberately) and you might find that your parents are among them. It may fall on you to explain to them why they need to take positive actions to ensure that their wishes will be honored and their assets managed appropriately late in life and upon death. Approaching this conversation requires tact and sensitivity, as well as an understanding of the benefits that estate planning can achieve.

The hardest part about a discussion of estate planning with parents is getting it started. It is indeed a delicate topic to bring up. The following are some strategies for initiating the conversation:

  1. Choose an appropriate setting — It’s best to talk in a comfortable, relaxed environment where your parents won’t feel pressured or rushed. Holidays or birthdays may not be the right time, since these events are full of activity. A casual lunch or dinner might work better.

  2. Express your intentions clearly — Begin by expressing your desire to ensure that their wishes are followed and that the family is protected in the future. Let them know that this is about respecting their choices and making things easier for everyone.

  3. Use your own experiences — Share your own estate planning steps and mention what you’ve learned from friends or other sources about the importance of having a plan.

  4. Ask questions — Express your genuine concern for their welfare by asking such questions as: “Have you thought about who you want to make medical decisions for you if something happens?” or “Is there anything you’d like to pass on to specific family members?”

  5. Discuss life events — Sometimes, major life events like the birth of a grandchild, a marriage, or the death of a family friend can provide an opening to talk about estate planning.

The heart of the discussion will be to explain how estate planning gives your parents control over what happens to their property, assets and healthcare decisions if they become incapacitated or pass away. Estate planning ensures that:

  • Distributing assets according to their wishes — Without a will or trust, state laws will decide how your parents’ assets are disposed of, which may not align with their desires.

  • Avoiding probate complications — Probate can be time-consuming, expensive and stressful for family members. Numerous planning techniques can be employed to streamline the process.

  • Reducing tax burdens — An estate plan can include strategies to minimize estate taxes or other financial burdens that could affect the inheritance passed on to family members.

  • Preparing for healthcare needs — A healthcare proxy or power of attorney lets your parents designate who will make medical or financial decisions for them if they are unable to do so.

  • Protecting family relationships — By clearly outlining their wishes, parents can prevent postmortem misunderstandings and disputes among family members.

  • Safeguarding family members — Estate plans can designate guardians for relatives with special needs, ensuring that trusted people will take care of them if needed.

By approaching the estate planning subject with compassion and focusing on the benefits, you can help them understand how important it is to have a solid plan in place. You should also encourage them to contact an experienced estate planning attorney who can put together a comprehensive package addressing their goals and needs.

Favaro, Lavezzo, Gill, Caretti & Heppell, PC helps clients in Solano, Contra Costa and Napa counties prepare, establish and manage effective estate plans. To learn more, call us today at 707-674-6057 or contact us online to schedule a consultation.