California courts generally favor shared child custody arrangements after a divorce, since children tend to benefit from a continuing relationship with both parents. However, an award of custody must be based on what a court finds to be in the child’s best interest. That means a parent seeking custody must put their best foot forward to show how the child will benefit. Just as important, they must avoid conduct that will hurt their case.

Here are some common mistakes that can jeopardize parents’ child custody rights:

• Manipulating the child — Sometimes, one parent will try to convince a child that the other parent is unworthy and perhaps was at fault for the divorce. Often, a manipulative parent’s goal is to gain the child’s sympathy by highlighting the other parent’s allegedly poor character or misconduct. Family court judges can usually see when a child has been emotionally manipulated and may respond by substantially limiting the offending parent’s custody time.
• Interfering with the other parent’s time — Interference can take the form of withholding visitation, denying regular access to the child or otherwise limiting contact. In some situations, a parent will cite concerns for the child’s safety. However, judges are good at spotting when a parent is denying access to the child simply out of spite. The court can take action that works to the detriment of the interfering parent’s custody time.
• Poor parenting — Having an inattentive or emotionally unavailable mother or father can substantially hinder a child’s normal development. Some parents are so busy with their own affairs that they ignore the child. Some children are left with family members or babysitters for extended periods. Although the physical care may be adequate, the child is deprived of the important parental relationship.
• Being a poor role model — Courts are keenly aware that children learn by example and that they may be influenced by a parent’s bad behavior. Examples of conduct that should not be emulated are neglect of financial and legal obligations, illegal drug usage, excessive alcohol consumption, living in unsafe or unhygienic conditions and being prone to excessive emotional outbursts. Courts will take steps to shield children from parents who display such behavior.
• Entering new romantic relationships — Children need space to adjust to their parents splitting up. They can become angry and resentful when a parent enters into a new relationship shortly after the divorce, especially if the new partner seems to be assuming the role of stepparent. The child may also feel jealous of the new partner for diverting the parent’s attention. Court can limit custody rights if the new family environment could lead to psychological problems.

Favaro, Lavezzo, Gill, Caretti & Heppell, PC is a multi-disciplinary law firm serving the North Bay area of California. We have offices in Fairfield and Vallejo. If you are involved in a child custody matter, feel free to contact us online or call 707-674-6057 for a consultation.